A few days ago I saw a contest online that asked "when did you know you were a mom?" and I started reading all the posts. They were your general...."When I felt my baby kick" and "When I looked in her eyes for the first time"....so I started thinking of my moment. Yes, each and every moment is amazing to me and I would love to be all goo-goo-eyed about my response, but let's be serious. It's me and baby Jude.
I started thinking of all the times he has cried and the way it made me feel. I pondered about all the poop I've got on myself and the explosions as of late. Even all the late night feedings where we've both looked into each other's eyes and wondered if we'd both ever sleep a sound night again. Then there was my A-Ha moment at 2:00 am three days ago.
It was about the 4th diaper change of the night....or should I say morning. I turned on the light and un-swaddled the little man, finding a very wet diaper. In the middle of changing this very wet diaper, Jude decides to unleash fury on his mama, spraying my mushy midsection with a gallon of fresh pee. My hands are trying to block it, splashing the rest of my clean sheets and face with wetness. It finally stops and he smiles....of course. Then I wrap him in a fresh new diaper, swaddle him and look at his little face...
....This is when I was welcomed to motherhood. I looked him in the eyes AND then looked down at his mouth. Milk spit-up down the side of his face. Without hesitation I lift my hand to my own mouth. Within seconds I realized what I had done. I forgot about all the previous events, stuck that thumb......my pee-soaked thumb....into my mouth to wet it down (even more than it was already) and wiped the half dried milk from the side of his face.
We both gave each other a horrified grin about our 2 am situation and that was the moment I knew I was a mom. Bodily fluids are now less disgusting than they used to be to this mama. And I wouldn't give up this job for anything in the world!